at war constantly

I started watching a movie about Mary Shelley, the author of Frankenstein; or the Modern Prometheus over the weekend. The movie was terrible, so I didn’t finish it, but I did find a few quotes that I really loved. One was an actual quotation from Shelley’s father, William Godwin, which I shared in my previous post. Another was this:

She was so full of passion, so full of defiance, as if she were at war constantly with everyone and everything, and enjoying every moment of the battle.

Mary Shelley (2017)

In the film, Godwin says this about Mary’s mother, Mary Wollstonecraft, also a famous author and pioneering feminist. Godwin was speaking of Wollstonecraft wistfully, as if her love of battle made her not long for this world, but loving her for it nonetheless.

I recognized myself very much in this quote. Full of defiance. At war constantly. Enjoying every moment of the battle. I am so like this. Why am I like this? I push and poke. I stomp around. I yell. I have too many opinions. I’m too nosy. I test limits. I have few boundaries. I try myself with my own battles. How other people must feel. Am I doomed?